I'm Coming Home
by a cursed monkey
Summary: Sometimes, we make choices to leave to protect others. The challenge isn't leaving though. It's returning, and battling that doubt of returning. Song-fic Implied BBxRae, CyxBee, RobxStar
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Of course I don't own the Teen Titans. I wish I did… but I don't. Nor do I own the song _I'm coming home_ by P. Diddy.

Okay, this isn't my style... but I was attending a memorial for a fallen officer, and I heard this song. It was incredibly touching, and I just wanted to make a quick one-shot for this song.

R.I.P.

Sgt. Thomas Baitinger

Officer Jeffrey Yaslowitz

We all admire your courage in what you do and thank you for your service.

* * *

><p><em>I'm coming home<em>

_I'm coming home_

_Tell the world, I'm coming home_

_Let the rain, wash away, all the pain of yesterday_

_I know my kingdom awaits, and they've forgiven my mistakes_

_I'm coming home_

_I'm coming home_

_Tell the world I'm coming..._

I can't believe it. It's been so long... I mean, seeing this place. My home.

Looking at it now... well, it's kinda weird just walking back in. I mean, I did kinda vanish mysteriously. I did leave a note, but, everyone knows that notes don't tell the whole story.

Is everyone mad? Were they sad? Loosing the small, weak, joker isn't a huge thing to be sad about... but maybe I brought more! I was a good friend...

But leaving... that can revoke a friendship pretty quickly. Revoke. If I use words like that, I don't think anyone'll believe it's me. 'Course, the green skins a dead giveaway. But you never know.

_Back where I belong, yeah, never felt so strong_

_I feel like there's nothing I can't try_

_And if your with me, put your hands high_

The gravel under my feet must be fresh. That crunch is louder then I remember... of course, that might just be my bad memory. I have been away for what, like, 5 years.

Ha... looking at me now, you wouldn't really recognize me. If it weren't for the green skin once more. My hair's grown kinda long, since you can't shave in the jungle. My muscles are bigger, and a lot more defined. Like, they stick out now. My suit is shredded. It doesn't smell, even though I've worn it for like, 5 years. Rivers DO take away the bad smells.

I wonder how the team looks? Is Raven even more beautiful? Did she meet anyone?

Is Robin still a hard-ass? And did he propose to Starfire yet?

What about Cyborg? Did he and Bee hook up? I hope so.

I want them all to be happy. Not to have suffered in my absence.

_If you ever lost a light before, this cries for you_

_And the dreams are for you_

Man, I don't even wanna think if anyone got hurt.

I may not have been the best fighter, but I did keep a weathered eye on everyone. I saw everything that went on in fights. And if someone was about to get hurt, I jumped into action. I took most of the damage, and it added up. But it was worth it not seeing anyone else suffer.

Of course, if I ever failed... and I did witness someone getting hurt... I lost control.

Now that I wonder, I do think, was it because I didn't want my teammates getting hurt that I protected them? Or was it because if they did... I'd lose control of myself and go on a rampage?

Pain seemed to be the only thing that tamed the Beast, and whenever I received it, I felt his grip on my mind weaken.

It was like a drug; pain. My haven. My need. With it, I could be free of the Beast, albeit, only temporarily.

_I hear the "Tears of a Clown" _

_I hate that song_

_It always feels like they're talking to me when it comes on_

_Another day, another dawn_

_Another Keisha, nice to meet ya, get the math, I'm gone_

_What am I supposed to do when the club lights come on?_

That's why I left.

The damn Beast. It controlled too much of my life. Slowly, I was succumbing to its influence. No matter how much pain I took, slowly, it was becoming immune. Like a virus to antibiotics.

And within a small matter of time, it was dominating my actions. I was unintentionally gruffer. I was meaner, and angrier at dumb things. My fighting style changed. Instead of watching my own teammates, I watched only myself. My team was getting bruised more with every fight, and I was getting more viscous.

Finally, I snapped at Robin, and I was forced to leave after almost attacking Raven.

Her attitude had driven me up the wall, and when I snapped back at her, and we fought, I remembered.

**"You need to remember what happened!" **

**"I told you, I don't remember- any of it! We had that argument, I went to my room, I was angry, and then nothing! Claws... a scream... nothing!" **

**"Claws and a scream isn't nothing."**

**"No, I wouldn't. I mean, we had a fight, but I would never -"**

**"She was in your teeth..."**

Those two memories came rushing back. I remember that. That was the first time we argued and I changed into the Beast. That was the first time. The first time I'd almost hurt Raven.

This time, was even closer. It probably would've happened if I didn't make my decision.

To leave, so I didn't hurt Raven. Or anyone for that matter.

_It's easy to be Puff, it's harder to be Sean_

_What if the twins ask why I ain't marry their mom_

_How do I respond?_

_What if my son stares with a face like my own _

_And says he wants to be like me when he's grown_

What would life have been like if the Beast didn't own my life?

Would I have summoned the courage to ask out Raven? I mean, I've always thought she was pretty and all... but I never figured she was into me. It's just a known fact.

Would I have kids maybe? Or would we only be married... assuming she said yes.

Would we still be heroes? Or would we have retired? Or an accident happened, and one of us wasn't okay...

Man... that's hard stuff to take in...

I just can't think what I would do if I learned one of my friends died... what WOULD I do? Cry? Rage? WHAT?

_Another night, the inevitable prolongs_

_Another day, another dawn_

_Just tell Taneka and Taresha I'll be better in the morn_

_Another lie that I carry on_

_I need to get back to the place I belong _

That settles it. I gotta go back. Looking at the Tower is one thing.

Going inside is another.

Facing the Titans is something completely different.

But I need to. I need to see ALL my friends. I need to make sure they're okay. I've tamed the Beast. I'm better.

Now, I need to prove it to myself.

I need to go back.

_I'm coming home_

_I'm coming home _

_Tell the world, I'm coming home_

_Let the rain, wash away, all the pain of yesterday _

_I know my kingdom awaits, and they've forgiven my mistakes_

_I'm coming home_

_I'm coming home _

_Tell the world, I'm coming home _

Huh, it's raining. That's nice... not that I wanted this trip to be easy or nothing.

Now my hair's drooping, and... well, at least I smell a bit better. Surprisingly I don't smell like wet dog. But I can't focus on those minor little details. I gotta see my friends!

AH! Lightning!

That's never good! Guess I ain't flying there...

Maybe I should swim? Is it a good idea to swim in a lightning storm?

Ah, screw it all. I'm swimming, and I'm going home.

One way or another.

_"A House is not a Home" _

_I hate that song_

_Is a house really a home when your loved ones are gone?_

_And -'s got the nerve to blame you for it_

_And you know you woulda took the bullet if you saw it _

_But you felt it and still feel it_

This is not good...

Now it's in my mind... what if someone's dead? Dying? Oh man... suddenly, that runaway plan doesn't seem so good...

I feel really guilty...

WHOA! Almost got hit by that one.

Damn, these bolts are coming pretty close to me!

Gotta keep flying!

Of course, maybe I should swim...

Gah, it doesn't matter. I'm going home, and I will get there.

I just hope everyone's still there...

_And money can't make up for it, or conceal it_

_But you deal with it and you keep ballin_

_Pour out some liquor, play ball, and we keep ballin_

_Baby, we've been living in sin cause we've been really in love_

_But we've been living as friends_

When I get back, the first thing I'm going to do, is ask out Raven.

No, scratch that. First, I'm going to shave, shower, get a new uniform, THEN ask out Raven.

If she's not already taken...

If she is taken, then hey. It's my fault. I missed out on some golden chances. I had my chances, and I neglected them. But I will be her best friend again, even if she kills me. Because I'd rather die then see her die.

Does that even make sense? That sounded better in my head...

Tower's getting closer... and it seems just a little bit bigger too.

Is that my imagination too?

Or is it really bigger?

It wouldn't surprise me, with Cyborg lovin' to upgrade things. He was always upgrading his car.

Ha, I wonder if he still lives in it? Or did Bee take it's spot?

...

How much did I miss?

_So you've been a guest, in your own home_

_It's time to make your house your home_

_Pick up the phone, come on_

Maybe I should've called first...

Cause showing up, completely out of the blue is gonna be kinda awkward...

Then again, calling would've been too. Just imagine Starfire on the phone, getting a call from a missing friend, saying he's coming home. Yeah, like that wouldn't have freaked her out.

And imagine if it were Rae...

Ho boy. That would be funny, scary, and relieving at the same time...

...

I miss them all. But I'm almost there...

I hope they didn't replace me. I did leave, and they probably needed someone to fill the gap, but I don't think that replacing me would've filled any gap.

Would it?

What if my replacement crushed on Raven too?

And now she was with him?

That would kinda destroy me...

But again, I lost my chance when I left. She was fair game, and it's my fault.

That... she... I just wanna see her... them. All my friends...

_I'm coming home_

_I'm coming home_

_Tell the world, I'm coming home_

_Let the rain, wash away, all the pain of yesterday_

_I know my kingdom awaits, and they've forgiven my mistakes_

_I'm coming home_

_I'm coming home_

_Tell the world, I'm coming... home_

Ah, time to land. This is gonna be hard. I haven't flew in so long, I feared I forgot how! 'Course, I almost was fretting that I forgot how to morph into something else completely! The only thing I morphed into, was the Beast. And that was to become one. Or try to.

It failed. Miserably.

And I realized, that I can't battle myself. I have to embrace myself. Accept it.

My primal side, isn't really my primal side. It's my instincts, my animalistic traits. Telling me how I should be. It's a combination of animals. Well, in terms of thoughts.

Ugh!

That was NOT the most graceful landing.

I think I got gravel up my nose too...

There, that's better...

Looking at this Tower, I can feel those bad memories being taken by the rain.

It's clearing my head, my thoughts, my body.

I'm just... I'm ME! No one else. Me.

_"Ain't No Stopping Us Now", I love that song_

_Whenever it comes on, it makes me feel strong_

_I thought I told y'all that we won't stop _

_We be cruising through Harlem, Viso blocks_

_It's what made me, saved me, drove me crazy _

Perking my ears and tilting my head, I think I can hear music...

I'm not sure what kind, but it seems kinda upbeat.

Not Raven, more Starfire-y. If that.

Maybe it's a party. With the rain clearin up, I can see through the clouds, and it looks to be a full moon.

Nice. Coming back from my werewolf haunt under a full-moon. Ironic...

I also gotta avoid the security lasers. I remember where they once were. Not sure if they're there anymore, but still. I don't wanna trigger any alarm by accident.

Sneaking forward, I get over the trip wires, and I'm in the clear. The cameras won't catch me until I'm at the door. And by then, I should be home free.

_Drove me away, then embraced me_

_Forgave me for all my shortcomings_

_Welcome to my Homecoming_

_Yeah, it's been a long time coming _

_Lot of fights, lot of scars, lot of bottles_

_Lot of cars, lot of ups, lot of downs _

I stopped in front of the door. It's cold quiet Titanium framing and coating just stares at me, telling me nothing. I want to react. I want to knock.

But there's that self doubt, that animal part that says "Run! Get away! Never look back!"

I want to run. I really do. My legs are already pumping the adrenaline for the 'Fight or Flight' response. But I don't want to go either.

I want to see my friends, even if they all hate me for leaving.

It's a necessity. If I die tomorrow, I need to know that they're all okay.

Weird eh? I sound like their parents...

The youngest one, sounding like a parent. That's nice...

But hey, whatever gives me comfort. And the satisfaction of knowing that they're okay.

_Made it back, lost my dog_

_And here I stand, a better man_

_Thank you Lord_

Wow.

I've never felt so scared. And all I'm doing, is facing my friends!

How sad...

But now's the moment. I'm a changed man. I'm back. I gotta do this...

Here goes...

Knock-knock.

Anyone home?

_I'm coming home_

_I'm coming home_

_Tell the world, I'm coming home_

_Let the rain, wash away, all the pain of yesterday_

_I know my kingdom awaits, and they've forgiven my mistakes_

_I'm coming home_

_I'm coming home_

"Hey y'all, I got it!" That voice...

I know that voice...

"Heya, what's..." He trailed off, and I looked him straight in the robotic eye.

I see everyone stop and turn towards the large doors, noticing that their teammate suddenly went silent.

_Tell the world_...

"B-Beast Boy?"

_I'm coming home_

"H-hey Cy... I-I'm home..."

* * *

><p>AH!<p>

How was that?

Was it good? Or bad? I dunno, it's my first song-fic. Please, no Flames.

I don't wanna hear them.

So, please Rate and Review.

Thanks!


	2. Tragic Notice

Here is a notice to everyone:

It was suggested that this notice be passed on to everyone, mostly because it was thought that everyone here deserves to know. A tragic accident occurred, causing the grief felt here. A texting driver struck A Cursed Monkey's car, severely damaging everyone inside. Emergency vehicles were quick on scene, and transported him to the nearest hospital for intensive care.

He was held inside for a few days, before the grim outlook took the worst turn it could.

A Cursed Monkey died on April 27.

He was surrounded by friends and family, when the end came about, he was at peace. Many tears were shed that day, and it felt like our city was to drown. Grief has struck all that knew this fantastic writer, and no one can yet utter his name without tears clouding their vision. I know I cannot either.

I am his brother, and often read over some of the work submitted here. At first, I was ignorant of his amazing gift with words, before he finally opened my eyes with a heart-racing story. I immediately came upon writing myself, and now, I sit here, on his computer, barely suppressing my own tears.

The ultimate reality has set in. He's gone. Not just from my life, or our mother's, or father's, but from all of yours too. Some of you may have taken it for granted, and I wish no ill-will there. He seemed like just another ordinary writer.

That's the way it seemed to me. Now, I don't know what to make of writing anymore. He gave me inspiration many times, and let me on the right track. He led many on the path less traveled, but the best of the paths to take.

He's left a whole in my life, and in many others. But, I did make him a heart-wrenching promise. Everyone that saw him made that same promise I did.

_To not live in sadness. To live life, because it can only take a second to live it no more._

Many variations of this saying exist, but this just holds more sentimental value, because it was a dying man's wish. This seems like the climax of a story, and in a twisted way, it is. But, take none for lies, it all happened. And life struck hard.

He's gone, and he won't make a magical reappearance. I can wish day in, and day out, that he might. But deep down, I am already familiar with this scenario. It won't come true.

I wished to inform all of you, because it's what he would've wanted. He cared deeply for all his readers. I remember the first review he got, on_ Disappearing Act._ The joy he had was amazing. That story was his stepping stone. A few days before the accident, he said to me, "I want to re-write my first. When I read it, I just found a trillion mistakes."

I cut him off there, telling him, that the first story, can not be replaced. It holds our beginnings, and though it may not be the best beginning, it's the only beginning. He smiled at me, and thanked me. I asked him what the next chapter of what story would be out, and he grinned. Telling me, wait and see.

I wish, oh how I wish, I could see it. Because all that would mean, is that he's not gone.

Today, I wish not to draw anguish, but to allow his legacy to live. I am unsure of what his stories will do. There was one author, not so much a familiar friend, but a wisher like me, who was present. I'd read his work. So did A Cursed Monkey.

He may continue the stories, out of pure respect and as a memorial to him. I coaxed him to, but hesitation was obvious. I cannot blame him in the least. Whatever his choice may be, it meant something to see an almost stranger rooting for his recovery.

Please, don't let this be forgotten. This message is obvious, and un-needed, but thousands do it anyways.

Don't text and drive. Look at the lives you ruin. Not just the person you kill, but the families struck by this tragedy.

It's not worth it. They can wait.

Please, please, don't do it.

Thank you.

Sincerely and grief-stricken,

Robert H. (Brother of Kai H./A Cursed Monkey)


End file.
